Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Back when my first sock was *this* big....

I was riding on the subway out to Prabha's house. She has asked me to specify that this entire incident occurred on the PATH train and NOT on NJ Transit. So let it be known.

I entered the train and sat down with my sock, when I heard someone swearing and breathing loudly in frustration. This sort of thing happens all the time so I didn't really pay attention. Then the swearing breathing man sat next to me and continued to swear and breathe (more quietly) until he said "Miss-- do you know what time it is?" and I told him it was 12:15 and smiled. He said:

"MAN! you are the most beautiful thing that has happened to me today. I'm serious. Today has been an ugly day. Dude [to his friend) was it just me or were there a bunch of ugly M.F.'s on the train this morning?(I'll use abbreviations, for my more delicate readers) I mean SERIOUSLY. Ugly. Uglier than usual, even. What are you making there? Do you sell that s__t?"

"Oh, a sock. I'm making a sock"

"Look at that, man! That's a lovely sock she's making, it's all artistic and stripey and s__t! That's beautiful, miss. really. I asked if you sell it cause I would've asked you to make something for my daughter."

"I would never sell it cause it takes too long. My husband will be lucky if he ever gets socks, with how long this is taking me."
(I always work the "my husband" into conversations just to establish the fact that while, yes, I do enjoy talking to strangers a great deal more than your "average" subway knitter, I am taken, and my interest in talking to strangers ends when I arrive at my destination. ---Except for this guy who I will seek out again.

"So what do you do, are you an artist-type?"

"Yes, actually I'm an opera singer"

"OH S__T! Dude, did you hear that? She's an opera singer! I knew she was an artist. This is really weird because we've been looking for someone to come in and lay down some sweet tracks. I'm a rapper. My name is ____ you can look me up on the internet" (name withheld because I don't want to show up if he Google's himself but OH MY GOD his name was ridiculous. if I were to come up with a suitable replacement it would be.... hmm...tongue-y crazy? ask me and I'll tell you in a private convo)

So I tried to convince him that I was not the girl to lay down any sweet tracks, because--try though I might-- I always sound exactly like an opera singer. He countered that that was exactly what he was looking for and that he could come over and meet my husband so that "we would all be cool."

Thing 1: Did I miss an opportunity to collaborate on a legit rap album?
Thing 2: He then tried to sell me drugs.

And that's the story of the rapper I met on the train that I promised you back in October. In October, when my sock was tiny, and I thought it would be finished within the week...

1 comment:

  1. I hope you didn't miss any legit opportunities, since knowing a rap collaborator might boost my street cred with the rich white elementary set!